Shortening the Distance from "I Want To" to "I Do"

I’m So Indecisive I Can’t Decide#

For example, when there’s a piece of clothing I like:

1. Look it up in an online shop and check if it’s in stock
2. Decide I’d better see the real thing first
3. Go to the store and just glance at it
4. Think back on it later: “That really was nice, wasn’t it?”
5. Go again on another day and finally try it on

Even after all that, I hesitate: “Do I really want it?” “Do I have to go out of my way to buy it?”

Sometimes I hold back because I’m short on money, but even when I have the cash, I go through pretty much the same process.

The millefeuille I had the other day was so good ♡

Honestly, I take way too long between wanting something and buying it.

They say time is money, and if I converted the time I spend agonizing into money, it would add up to quite a lot.

Often what I wanted sells out while I’m still thinking about it.
Last year I missed chances at accessories, clothes, concerts, courses and more.

This habit of putting things off.

I’m Not Really “Lazy,” I’m “Scared.”#

What if I fail?

What if it turns out to be a waste?

What if I embarrass myself?

What if I trouble someone else?

So I gather information and spend a long time preparing.
And I only decide, only move, when I can picture a future where things definitely go well.

With clothes, it’s thinking “I’ll probably have a chance to wear this soon.”
With concerts, it’s thinking “They’ll probably play the songs I want to hear.”

In reality, even if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t do much harm.
If I don’t wear the clothes I bought much, it’s not as if it troubles anyone.

A Guaranteed Future Trades Peace of Mind for Boredom#

When I think about it, a “future where things go well” is reassuring but a little boring, isn’t it?

In game terms, it’s like a situation where you can clear the level in one try.

A monster you can beat in one hit is boring.

The disappointment when things don’t work out.
The effort of thinking “next time I’ll try it this way.”
It’s that process that brings emotion and a sense of accomplishment.

Not knowing what will happen is what makes it fun.

The disappointment of things not working out is also part of what makes a drama exciting.

Just as a drama that is smooth sailing from start to finish is boring,
the trouble and twists in a story are often what make it interesting.

Of course, it’s nice when things go the way I want.
But failure is an asset too.

Not knowing the result makes my heart race.
Even losing out, or things not going my way, can be fun.

I want → (I’m worried how it will turn out) → I do

If I take the feelings in the parentheses too seriously, “I do” gets further and further away.

The anxiety and fear about not knowing the result will probably never go away.

Rather than that, I want to put more weight on acting on what I want to do.

You Might Also Like#

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Thinking It’s Too Early for Someone Like Me Keeps the First Step Away